The Ever of After
by addisongrace22
Summary: A series of one shots following the events of Lucy and The Light That Leads Us. Linstead
1. The First Morning

**So first one-shot! This one takes place two weeks after the twins have been born and Jay is going back to work, leaving Erin for her first full day alone with three kids. Hope you guys enjoy it!**

"Please don't leave me alone with them," I plead, only half joking as the two of us linger in the doorway, the heat of a Chicago summer pelting down, the tiny baby resting in my arms not really helping with that and Percy weaving around my legs.

We were worried about him interacting with the babies at first, he is a very big dog after all, but he's been so calm and so gentle, the same way he has always interacted with Lucy. He loves the twins, often curled up by their swings and after seeing him with them, I don't why we ever even worried.

"You know I'd love to stay, but I have to go back to work. We talked about this," He tells me as he places his hand on my cheek, running his hand down my face.

"I know," I groan, "but if you come home tonight and your children have exhausted me and I'm lying on the floor dead, it's your fault." I say, only half joking again. I'm already running on less than three hours of sleep. Liam's a pretty good sleeper, he's been waking up only two or three times a night, which according to Nat isn't bad at all. But Ava, good God. She's up every hour, at least, sometimes more. It's almost like they coordinate, making sure they get their sleep but we never get ours. They never wake up at the same time, they tag team it and it is exhausting.

The two of them have been sleeping in bassinets in our bedroom just to make things easier for now, but recently Ava has started this new thing where she doesn't want to sleep unless she's in mine or Jay's arms. I can almost always get her to fall asleep in her bassinet for a couple hours at the start of the night, which is when I usually sleep, but after the first time she's up, it's all over. And even if she is asleep, I'm still awake, sitting up in bed with her in my arms. Sometimes I can get her back into the bassinet, but last night was not one of those nights.

And very honestly, I don't really know how I'm still standing. Wait yes I do. Coffee. Lots and lots of coffee. So much coffee that I'm thoroughly convinced that my body is at least 60% coffee.

"Why are they only my children when they aren't being perfect little angels," He asks jokingly.

"Well I pushed one of them out of my vagina and the other one got to be cut out of my stomach, so I get to say whatever I want for at least another six months," I say with a grin.

"Okay babe," He says with a laugh as he presses a kiss to my lips. "And I will see you later little bird," He says as he plants another kiss on her forehead. "Daddy's going to miss you,"

"Believe me, I'm going to miss you more than any of the kids will," I say as I shove him out the door.

"You'll be fine, I'll be home before you know it," He assures me.

"Shut up and go to work," I tell him, almost longing to go with him. I love my kids, I do, more than anything in the entire world and I'm sure that if I actually left I would miss them. But I do want some time where no one is throwing up on me or screaming at me or falling asleep on me.

"I love you," He tells me.

"You better," I tease. "Be safe, make sure Ruz is watching your back,"

"I will," He calls as he waves behind me, making his way towards the 300. And I shut the door behind him, I realize for the first time that I'm alone. Completely. Alone. With a six year old and two two weeks olds.

We've been barely holding it together with the two us working as a team, but I don't know how how this is going to work. But hundreds of millions of women have been doing this since the start of time, I can do this.

"We got this baby girl, Mommy can do this all on her own, right?" I tell her, mostly trying to assure myself. She coos up at me in response. I'm going to take that as a solid yes. And well, at least she's not crying.

"Mommy!" Lucy calls as I meet her back in the kitchen.

"Hey baby what's up?" I ask, trying to hide my near extreme exhaustion.

"I'm hungry," She tells me. Of course she's hungry. She's used to having breakfast around 7:20 when school's in session and we've been trying as hard as we can to keep her schedule. Which, very honestly has been difficult, but we've been doing an okay job. But with Jay leaving today, it's nearing 8 AM. Luckily the twins are already fed, so I won't have to worry about them for maybe 2 hours.

"Of course, what do you want?" I ask as I place Ava in her swing, adjacent to Liam, who's asleep in his.

"Can I have cheesy eggs?" She asks as she climbs up onto a bar stool across from me

"Yeah of course," I say as I run to grab the stuff from the fridge. Cheesy eggs. Eggs with cheese. Should be easy enough.

"Can we go to the park today?" She asks as I begin to make her breakfast.

"Yeah sure," I tell as I a pour the eggs into a pan, met with a strong sizzle. "After breakfast we have to get everybody ready and then we can go. You want to be Mama's helper?" She nods at me enthusiastically. "That's my girl," It's takes a hell of a lot of effort to get out of the house with everyone, especially when it's by myself, but I haven't been out of the house in the last couple days except for errands and I'm starting to go a little stir crazy.

Literally the second I slide her eggs onto a plate, Ava starts screaming. Again.

It's weird, I didn't think I'd be able to tell them apart, but my kids have different cries. And I've gotten almost scary good at identifying the differences between them.

"Mommy, Avie's crying," Lucy states as I rush over to her. I have to bite my tongue to avoid snapping at her. I know she's crying. Trust me. I know. I know she's crying. God I just hope she doesn't wake her brother up. And then Percy starts barking at the back door. Perfect.

"Baby can you let Percy out to the backyard?" She groans and doesn't move.

"Lucy," I warn, my voice raising.

"Mama do I have too?" She groans.

"Lucy Claire Halstead, I am going to count to three. 1,2,-" I warn.

"Fine, I'm going!" She says with a dramatic sigh.

"Thank you," I snap at her. I've been told that this is normal. She's usually pretty good as has been since we've had her, but since the babies have been born she's has these little spurts of attitude. And we are not having it.

I hold Ava to my chest, pressing what I think is her pacifier into her mouth. I don't know, it could very well be Liam's. But I'm so sleep deprived I really don't care. It's making her stop crying and it hasn't been dropped on the floor, that's all that really matters to me right now.

What I've learned in this past two weeks, is that is a lot easier to be the perfect parent when you don't have kids. Or in our case, when you don't have babies. If you would have asked me two weeks ago if I would even considered putting something into my kid's mouth that I wasn't sure what was hers, I would have said absolutely not. In my head everything was going to be color coded and labeled with their names, but this is real life and we're just doing what we need to do to survive.

I know that if I put her down, she'll spit out the paci and start screaming bloody murder. So I will be returning to doing everything with one hand. Fantastic.

"Cheesy enough?" I ask her, Ava starting to quiet down again in my arms.

"Uh huh," She tells me with a smile. I've been trying to spend as much time with Lucy as possible. I feel bad that suddenly she has to split her time with these two babies, she's been used to having us all to herself for as long as we've had her. But she really loves her brother and sister and hasn't talked to either of us about her having any problems, but I still feel bad about it and there's been a little bit of a rise with the attitude.

Jay keeps telling me that I shouldn't feel bad about it, but I miss my baby. She's my first child and she'll always be my baby. And of course she's still here, I probably spend more time with her now, just because school is out, but I still feel more distant from her.

We couldn't really pull it together for her sixth birthday. The babies were only two weeks old and we couldn't plan a party, it just wasn't happening. We did have a family dinner with Natalie, Will, Owen, and Hank and we made her favorite foods and she told us that she loved it and I know that she had fun, but I still feel a little bad about it.

But, days like this where I can do something with her, even something small like taking her to the park are the times where I don't feel so awful about it.

She finishes up quickly as I down a cup of coffee and eat a thing of raspberry yogurt, I'll just throw a granola bar or an apple or something in the diaper bag. I wash the pan later while the babies are napping, for now I just want to spend some time with Luce.

"Alright baby girl you ready to get dressed?"

"Yep," She tells me as she slides off the stool, placing her plate in the sink.

"Hey," I stop her, placing a hand on her shoulder, "you're my girl, you know that right?"

"Yeah,"

"And you're always going to be my baby, no matter how big you get," I tell her as I pull her into my side. "And I love you,"

"I love you too Mama," She tells me, "But can we please go get ready now? I want to go to the park!"

"Of course, I'm going to let Perce back in and then I'll come upstairs," I say with a bit of a chuckle. There's my girl. "Go on,"I let the dog back in and start the routine I've gotten far too familiar with. I've done this more than a few times now, running one of the twins upstairs, sticking them in a bouncer and then dashing back downstairs to grab the other baby.

It's summer now and the sun is beating down on us relentlessly, so we have to dress to match. The twins are asleep (for now) in their bouncers and Lucy's brushing her teeth as I pick out something for her to wear and throw my hair into a top knot. We're going easy today, so I grab a her favorite pair of jean shorts and this yellow flowery tank top thing that she's been really into lately. Luckily, I got in a shower last night so I don't have to worry about that.

"Lucy you done?" I call towards her bathroom.

"Yeah," She says back to me as I hear her spit into the sink.

"Alright c'mon back," She scurries back into the room and starts stripping her pajamas off. "Baby can you watch your brother and sister for a minute? Mama's gotta get ready,"

"I can do it, I'm a big girl," She tells me.

"I'll come back if they start crying," I offer.

"Mama I can do it!" She assures me.

"Alright, alright," I say throwing my hands up in defense. I make my way quickly to my bedroom, trying to do this as fast as possible but listening carefully for any of the kids.

I strip of my pajamas, tossing them into a hamper, a constant reminder of the never ending pile of laundry that I need to get done. I pull on a pair of jean shorts, thankfully my legs are shaved and a striped black and white tank top. I slap on some concealer to hide the oh so dark circles under my eyes and coat my eyelashes in a thin coat of mascara. That'll have to do for now. I grab a pair of flats, my days of sandals long over after I ran over my toes with the double stroller a few too many times. Satisfied with myself, I make a quick pit stop in Ava and Liam's nursery to grab clothes for them, they're still in their pajamas after all.

I pull a floral onesie thing for Ava, that for some reason the store called a body suit. I don't really get it, to me it just looks like a onesie with tank tops sleeves and ruffles, but whatever. Oh and one of those headbands with the giant bows that look so ridiculous and serve absolutely no purpose, but so look damn cute. And besides, maybe I'll get a cute picture of the kids to send to Jay.

I grab a yellow onesie and a pair of denim overalls for Liam. It was a hand-me-down from Owen and he looks absolutely adorable in it. I run back to Lucy's room and she helps me change their clothes before I do a quick diaper change on both of them. I run Liam down first, putting him securely into his carseat and leaving Lucy to watch him before repeating the process with Ava. They're both awake right now, but they're happy, which is a very good thing.

I leave both of them sitting in the hallway, Lucy playing peek a boo with them, the babies cooing back at her as she giggles while I pack the diaper bag and put Percy in his crate until we get back. One of the biggest adjustments, besides the sleep thing of course, is having to bring so much stuff with us to literally anywhere. When it was just the three of us, I could grab my phone, wallet, and keys, maybe throwing a couple of things in my purse and just run out the door with her. Now it requires a hell of a lot more. Bottles and diapers and wipes and pacifiers and receiving blankets and the list just goes on and on and on. But I've gotten used to it.

I shove a pair of red Converse over Lucy's little feet before grabbing the twins stroller from the trunk of the car and fastening both their car seats next to each other on the frame. That's one of the things I love the most about their stroller, both of them are right in front of me and I can reach both of them at all times. That was important to me when we were picking one and as it turns out, there are few models like that.

"Can we walk to the park?" Lucy asks.

"You want to?" I ask, my words met with a simple nod. It's a little under a mile to get there and even though it doesn't seem like too far, but she's six and she'll little for her age so even walking that far seems like a long time to her. But we've done it before with her and she doesn't seem to mind it. Plus it's a nice day, not as blistering as it has been, so why not.

"Yeah, it'll fun,"

"Yes!" She squeals as she jumps up a little bit.

"Where is all this energy coming from?" I joke with her as I slide my trusty sunglasses over my eyes. I really tried to cover up the dark circles, but as most new moms know, it didn't really work too well.

"Ooh can I wear mine?" She asks, ignoring my question, but asking for her sunglasses. Jay got her a pair that looks a lot like his and she wants to wear them everywhere, telling me that she's just like Daddy.

"Yeah, I think they're in the drawer in the table by your bed, go grab 'em," She doesn't even say anything to me before running up the staircase at double time. Oh how I wish for her energy.

I take a minute to snap a picture of the babies and shoot it over to Jay. As busy as I am with the three of them, I can't help but wondering what they're doing over at the 21st. I miss the action of the job. But for now, a morning trip to the park is about as much action as I can take.

"Babe let's go," I call up to her as I pocket my cell phone.

"I can't find them!" She yells back down to me.

"Uh check the bookshelf!" I respond. "You got them?" I yell again after a brief moment of silence.

"I got 'em!" She confirms.

"C'mon down, we got to go to the park right,"

"Coming!" She yells back at me, hollow footsteps on the wood stairs following her words. "Let's go!" She exclaims, sunglasses now firmly sitting on her face. I can already tell that those are going to get tangled in her long red hair, but I'll let her have her moment for now.

"Sounds good," I say as I push the double stroller through the front door, barely clearing the doorway. It's a warm day, but there's a slight breeze blowing. Not enough to give you goosebumps or make your hair go wild, but just enough to combat the heat. It's nice.

"Alright, let's go to the park," I say with a grin as she skips ahead of me.

I did it. We got out the door. Now we just have to get through the rest of the day. Oh God help me.

 **Alright so there's the first one-shot! Just a quick reminder that these will be non continuous and if you guys have any suggestions, please let me know! Let me know if you guys liked this and if you want me to continue them!**

 **Please Review!**

 **Much love,**

 **Addie**


	2. The Hot Twin Dad

**So as I said before, these one-shots will not be in chronological order, so this one takes place when the twins are in preschool and Lucy is in 4th grade. Not sure if I love this chapter and it is a little on the shorter side, but I hope you guys enjoy it!**

* * *

"Bye babe," I say as as I grab my jacket off the back of my chair. "Luce is going home with Peyton Woodbury today right?"

"Yeah, I'll swing by and grab her on my way home," He tells me as he looks up from his paperwork, his pen resting on his hand.

"Alright, see you then," I say as I walk back down the steps and buzz myself out. Today we hadn't caught a case and I was allowed to clock out early to go grab the twins. Usually our nanny Emily picks them up and we relieve her around six or later if we're working a case, but today was a slow day. Jay had to stay back and finish up something or other, but I'm glad at least one of us got to go get them.

Somedays I feel bad that I'm not always there, that both of us have to work such long hours, but Voight always reminds me that it's just working parent guilt. It's been almost five years since we took Lucy in, but it hasn't gotten any easier to leave them every day. So I suck it up and I do what I can to give my kids the best life that I can give them. Besides, they do think it's pretty cool that Mama and Daddy are cops.

But days like today, when I can surprise them with something as simple as picking them up after school, those are the days that I cherish. I haven't been to the twins preschool very many times, only two or three. Jay and I always split up drop off and I take Lucy to the elementary school and he brings the twins and then we meet up again at the district. I hate that we have to do it that way, but their schools start at virtually the same time and there's just no way to avoid it.

I move quickly across the parking lot, the temperatures haven't dipped to the point where I have to wear an actual jacket, I can still get away with the minimal warmth provided by my favorite maroon leather jacket. I love that thing, Camille gave it to me when I graduated from the Academy, told me that every cop needed one, Hank has worn one since the day I met him. It's old and it's wearing out, but I love it nonetheless.

The drive to their school is quick, the traffic pretty light at 3 PM and the lights just seem to be working in my favor. I'm still getting used to driving such a big car after years and years of driving the 300, but it just wasn't working anymore.

We could get away with it when the kids were babies and we tried to get away with it as they got older, but by the time they turned three we just needed more space and the good old 300 that's held so many wonderful memories for us was traded in for a Dodge Durango. I missed the days of riding around in the 300, but we just couldn't pull it off anymore. As they got older, the kids starting fighting in the backseat and I knew that we just needed some separation and the third row of seating in both cars became very necessary.

I pull into the parking lot of the twins school and I quickly stash the gun in the glove compartment of the car, being careful to lock it behind me. I grab my phone from the cup holder and run in, knowing that they'll be out in a few minutes. As I push the front door open, sunglasses propped up on my head and keys hanging in my hand, I quickly realize that I am the only one in here that is coming from work. There's a mix of women in yoga pants and sweaters who I'm almost sure are stay at home moms and younger women who I assume to be nannies. Fantastic.

I've only done this like one time. In the month that the twins have been at this school , it's always Emily or Jay or Hank, I'll usually go to Lucy's school, but I'm glad I'm here today. It'll be a nice surprise for both of them.

"Hey!" I hear beside me and I look up from my phone. I recognize her vaguely, thick brown hair pulled back into a ponytail and big brown eyes staring back at me, a pair of aviators propped up on her head, near identical to mine. Though she could just have a generic face and I think that I've seen her before. Who know.

"I've haven't seen you around here," She says with a welcoming smile, "I'm Laura,"

"I'm Erin," I say, returning the smile. "Yeah my nanny usually picks up my kids, I work full time but my boss let me go home early today,"

"Oh cool, what do you do?" She asks, her arms crossed in front of her chest.

"I'm a cop actually," I say. I can see the slight surprise of her face. People always have that look, always without fail. I got it when I'd told my old friends about it based on my past and especially now since I've had kids, people are even more surprised that I've stayed on the force. Which is ridiculous, but it's the world we live in so I deal with it and I try to change it so maybe it can be different for my girls.

"Oh did you already change out of your uniform?" She asks.

"Uh no," I explain, "I'm a detective out of the 21st District, so I don't actually wear the blues anymore,"

"There's another parent here that's a detective I think," She tells me warmly, "Jay Halstead, he's the twins' dad, Ava and Liam. He's not here today, he usually comes in the mornings to drop them off. But let me tell you, he is fun to look at isn't he," I feel the color rush to my cheeks as I quickly try to subdue it and I stifle a laugh.

"What's so funny?" She asks.

"Oh nothing, I guess I'll have to keep an eye out for him," I say as I try to calm myself down, slyly leaving out the part about him being my husband and the father of my children. I mean she'll figure it out soon enough when our kids rush over to me, but for now let's just see where this goes.

"It's kind of this joke between all the moms, we call him the Hot Twin Dad." She says with a bit of a chuckle. "It's not very creative, it's basically just describing him, but still, it's accurate." She's not wrong. My man is pretty damn hot.

"Cute," I comment absentmindedly as I notice the teacher standing in the small window of the wooden door, giving me somewhat of an idea that she's about to release the kids. My intuition is correct as I watch the door swing open, Ava of course lingering near the front of the crowd and shooting out into the lobby.

"Mama!" She shouts as she runs over to me, her long blonde hair wild and falling from the high ponytail it was placed in this morning and her backpack bouncing behind her. I swear she looks more and more like Piper every single day. When she was born with the blonde hair, we both just assumed that it was baby hair and when her hair actually grew out, it would be darker, but it stayed light.

"Hey baby girl," I say as she jumps into my arms as I watch the blush rush to Laura's cheeks and Liam running out behind his sister.

"Seriously?" She asks as I transfer Ava over to my hip and grab Liam's hand, giving him a kiss on the top of his head.

"Seriously," I say with a bit of a chuckle.

"Why didn't you stop me? I was basically telling you that every woman in this preschool thinks your husband is hot!" She says, the embarrassment not hidden on her face.

"Are you talking about Daddy?" Liam asks as he looks up at me.

"Yeah baby," I say with a bit of a smile. "Don't worry about it," I assure Laura. "And trust me, I totally agree," She smiles at me and shakes her head as her kid runs out to her.

"You are unbelievable," She says with a laugh as her son latches onto her leg. I grin over at her and try again not to laugh.

"Can we go home?" Ava asks as she lays her head down on my shoulder, quickly pulling my attention away from Laura and back to my kids.

"Yeah Avie, let's go home,"

* * *

"Er, we're home," I hear Jay call as the garage door rumbles shut behind them.

"Mama!" Lucy calls as she drops her bag on the wood floors of the kitchen. I make a mental note to tell her to pick that up. "I got a 94 on my math test,"

"Good job Lu! I'm so proud of you!" I tell her as I pull her into my side for a quick hug, my other hand occupied with cooking stir fry. Since we got together, Jay has always done the majority of the cooking. He's just better at it. But since the twins have been born, he's taught me how to make a bunch of things that I can't screw up for nights like this. "Grab your lunch out of your backpack and then go put your bag in your room. Oh and can you grab the twins from the playroom? Dinner's going to be ready in like five minutes and I want the three of you to set the table,"

"Okay Mama," She responds as I press a kiss to the top of her head. God I'm so proud of her. She's come so far since the day we took her in over five years ago and I'm so incredibly grateful that she came into our lives. She is the reason that I have my husband and she is the reason that we have her brother and sister. None of that would have happened without her. She's our glue.

"Hey babe," I say, wrapping my free arm around Jay as Lucy runs back up to her room.

"How were the twins?" He says before giving me a quick kiss.

"There's always good. Liam fell asleep on the way one and you know your daughter, so she asked me about everything under the sun in the fifteen minutes it took to get home," She's always done that. Not the usual kid questions that I got from Lucy or the ones I get now from Liam, like why is the sky blue or why does the sun shine. From Ava I get, where did that lady come from? Why is she there? Where is she going? And she studies people and she'll take mental notes about it, asking us about it like two days later.

"That's my girl," He says with a smile, "you know if she chooses to do it, Ava would make one hell of a cop,"

"She would," I say with a smile. "But I did learn something interesting about you at pick up today,"

"Oh this ought to be good," He says with a slight groan.

"Well they have a nickname for you." I say with a smirk. "Hot Twin Dad." He groans as a I laugh on. "You know if any of those yoga moms try to make a move on you, I might have to kill them," I joke.

"Well you won't have to worry about that," He tells me as he presses a kiss to the top of my head. "I've only got eyes for my girl."

* * *

 **Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!**

 **As always, if you have a request or an idea for a one-shot, please let me know!**

 **Please Review!**

 **-Addie**


	3. Back to St Ignatius

**So sorry that it's been literally forever since I've updated this and that I've sucked so bad at updating all of my stories, but I hope you guys enjoy this one-shot!**

 **This takes place a few months before the twins' first birthday and it's Erin and Jay going to her 15 Year High School Reunion.**

 **Also something weird has been going on with the site and they haven't been sending out notifications for the updates. I don't know how many of you guys are reading Break Me Like a Promise and The thoughts and Prayers of Yesterday, but I did post a chapter for both of them, so if you haven't read those yet, head on over there!**

 **Happy reading!**

* * *

 **Jay**

"Erin we don't have to do this," I tell her for what feels like the millionth time. A few months ago, she got an email with an invitation attached for her 15 Year High School Reunion and to my surprise, she wanted to go, like really wanted to go. I really don't understand why it'll be any different than it was five years ago when we didn't even walk in the door. But then again, we're different.

"I know," She says, pushing a pair of diamond stud earrings through her ears. "But it'll be good for us. We barely get out anymore, this is just an excuse for me to get all dressed up and have a little bit of fun,"

"Well you know you don't have to get dressed up to look good, I think you look just as hot everyday in those jeans," I tell her with a light smack on the butt.

"Well, that's just you, babe," She says with a smile, pulling on a pair of black heels. "I want to look good for myself,"

"Okay, okay. No lying this time?" I ask. "I can just be a cop right, no Facebook or Mackinac Island?"

"I have a hot husband, three perfect kids and a kick ass job, I don't have anything to lie about," She says with a smirk.

"Okay, I say with a smile, let's go," I tell her. Our babysitter Emily got here maybe fifteen minutes ago, but Erin still wasn't ready, so she's playing with the kids downstairs.

"Em we're going to head out. Lulu be good for Emily, listen to what she says. Em you know the drill, you can eat anything you want and call us if anything comes up," She's been watching the kids for so long now that the instructions portion of the night has become virtually nonexistent.

"Bye Mama! Bye Daddy!" Lucy shouts from her place on the carpet, not looking up from her sorting of her toys, Liam sitting in Emily's lap and Ava giggling on the floor next to them.

"I got it, I'll call if I need anything,"

"We'll be home around 11, have fun guys,"

"We will!" Lucy calls back to us as we stroll out the front door. I take a deep breath and a sigh of relief. We got out without a crying baby, a rare occurrence in this Halstead house.

"Mission accomplished," She says, giving me a high five as we make our way out to the 300.

"You driving?" I ask as I hold up the keys. It's really a rhetorical question at this point, I already know the answer.

"What do you think?" She says with a smirk. I scoff at her before tossing the keys her way.

"Why have I let you drive for all these years again?" I ask teasingly.

"Cause you love me," She teases as I slide into the passenger seat. "And before that you were scared shitless of Hank,"

* * *

 **Erin**

"You sure you want to do this?" Jay asks me for feels like the ten millionth time.

"I'm sure. Besides don't we kind of owe everything to my high school reunion? This is where everything started right?" I say as we walk down the hallway of the Drake Hotel.

"In a way I guess, but really don't we owe everything to that redhead sitting at home and playing with her siblings?" He offers.

"We got pretty lucky didn't we?" I say with a smile as we approach the sign in table.

"Yeah, yeah we did," He tells me, squeezing my hand as he drops a quick kiss on my cheek.

"Names?" The woman asks. I don't recognize her and her name tag reads Faith Oliver, I don't recognize the name either.

"Erin Halstead," I say as she scans her sign in sheet. I always love saying that, Erin Halstead. I don't get to very often, at work I'm still Lindsay. But I still loving having it, knowing that I share the name that the rest of my family gets to have.

"Alright you're good to go, have a good night," She says with a way too wide and almost scarily white smile.

"Thank you," I say as I loop my hand within Jay's again. The last time we were almost here everything was so different. That night, if had asked me to tell you what my life would be like in five years, there is no way in hell that I would have said this. My life is amazing. I have the best husband, three adorably cheeky children and kind of a kick ass job. I wouldn't change anything.

But I'm still nervous. With the exception of a few of them, I haven't seen any of these people in fifteen years. I don't know why I'm nervous, but I just am. I'm still worried about what these people think of me, which is ridiculous. But it's there.

"It's going to be fine," Jay whispers in my ear as he gives my hand a quick squeeze. How does this man always know what to say? I swear it's like a superpower of his. That and changing diapers.

"Thank you," I say back as we step into the extremely overstimulating ballroom. "Now can we please go get a drink?"

"Yeah, c'mon," He says with a chuckle as his hand migrates to the small of my back, leading me as we weave through the crowd. It's been awhile since we've been out and I kind of went all out. I pulled an old dress out of the closet, I don't think I've worn it in years but I've always loved it. It's emerald green and off the shoulder, hugging my figure all the way down before ending just below my knees. My jewelry is simple, my wedding bands, as always and a pair of gold diamond earrings. Around my neck lies the gold necklace with that simple bar, the letters ALL stamped on the right side, the first initial of each of my kids. Jay gave it to me for Mother's Day the year after the twins were born and I wear it almost every day.

"What can I get for you?" The bartender asks as we approach.

"Two Manhattans please," I say, knowing exactly what he's going to want.

"Coming right up," He say as he grabs the bottle of whiskey.

"Thank you," Jay says.

"Erin Lindsay?" I hear from behind me. The voice is a mixture of surprise and excitement and it's one that I'm actually happy to hear. Caroline Amsbary. She was one of the few people who didn't drop me as soon as the truth came out. We weren't best friends, but she was always kind, something that was hard to find after everything came out.

"Caroline," I say with a smile as I take her in a loose hug, her long blonde hair brushing up against my shoulders.

"I didn't know you were coming!" She says with a smile as she releases me, "I didn't see you here at the last one,"

"Uh yeah something came up," I say with a bit of smile, my mind flashing back to that night.

"Well I'm glad you came, so what are you up to?"

"Well I'm actually a cop," I tell her, internally holding my breath as I wait for her reaction.

"Really?" She says. She looks surprised, but not in a bad way, not like the way Steph looked at me that day in the airport.

"Yeah, I decided to follow in my dad's footsteps I guess," I say with a smile. I really do owe everything to Hank, my entire life, I wouldn't have it if it weren't for him.

"And who is this?" She asks as she gestures to Jay. I almost forgot he was standing behind me.

"This," I say as I grab his hand and pull him forward. "Is my husband Jay Halstead,"

"So you're not a Lindsay anymore?"

"Nope, I'm a Halstead now," I tell her as I quickly flash her my ring.

"Nice to meet you," Jay says as he hold his hand out to shake Caroline's.

"And it very nice to meet you too," She says with that warm grin that helped me through so many days in those halls. :I'm glad Erin found someone that can make her happy, she deserves,"

"Hell yeah she does," He responds as he gives my shoulder a quick squeeze. "Babe I'm going to grab the drinks, I'll be back in a second," I hadn't realized it, but through my short conversations we've moved a good distance away from the bar.

"My God Erin he's so hot," She exclaims as soon as he's out of earshot. I chuckle at her response, one that I've kind of gotten used to.

"I'm a lucky girl I know," I say with a smile. "So, how are you doing?"

"Well I'm an accountant for a company downtown, very exciting I know," She says with that contagious smile.

"Married?"

"Nope, still flying solo, but I did adopt a baby girl from China four years ago," She says with a grin, that same smile that I get when I start talking about my kids.

"What's her name?" I say.

"Lily,"

"Do you have pictures?" I ask eagerly.

"Of course, hold on," She says, taking her phone out from her clutch and showing me a picture of an adorable little girl.

"She's so cute," I say as I peer at her lock screen.

"And you? I assume you have kids because only parents get that excited about seeing photos"

"I do actually, uh three,"

"Well someone has been busy," She teases.

"It's a long story actually, my oldest Lucy, she's six, we adopted her when she was four and then we have ten month fraternal twins, Ava and Liam,"

"Pictures?" She asks, the same eagerness in her voice. I smile as I pull up my lock screen, showing her one of my latest photos. I love that picture, it wasn't staged or posed, just a moment that I caught one day after dinner of the twins cuddling with Lucy on the couch.

"Well you two make beautiful babies," She says with a half smile.

"Thanks," I say with a cheeky smile.

"Well I'm going to make the rounds and if I don't see you again tonight, call me. We can set up a play date maybe? Are you still in Chicago?" She asks.

"Yes I am, we're over in Lake View, number's still the same,"

"Alright, don't forget about me Linds," She says over her shoulder as she walks away.

"Not a chance," I say with a smile.

"Hey," Jay says as he comes up behind me, two glasses in his hand. "Where'd Caroline go?"

"She's just making the rounds," I tell him as I take the drink, suddenly not feeling like I need it as much. Even though we just got her, I feeling a lot better. Caroline has always had that effect on me.

"You want to do the same? Introduce me to some of your high school friends?" He offers with a goofy look on his face.

"I mean it won't take very long, but it you want to," I say with a chuckle.

"I want to know what you were like in high school," He says with a smirk.

"Oh no you don't," I say, having pretty bad flashbacks to my teenage years.

"I want to know every part of you Erin Halstead," I give him a solemn smile as an overwhelming feeling of gratitude overtakes me.

"Thank you," I say quietly as I squeeze his hand.

"For what?" He asks, more than confused.

"For loving me, for giving me a family, giving me a home," I say gratefully as images of our life together flash before my eyes.

"Well, I can you this. It has been my pleasure," He tells me before dropping a kiss on my forehead. "I love you,"

"I love you too,"

* * *

 **Hope you guys enjoyed! Please Review!**

 **-Addie**


	4. Sick Days

JAY

"Hello this is Jay Halstead," I say into my phone. I'm still catching my breath from this morning. Erin's away working a case in San Francisco and I can always manage all three kids in the morning, but it's always just that much harder. And Ava was a little fussy last night, which meant that neither of us slept too well.

"Mr Halstead?" A voice responds, "This is Evelyn Hollins from Bright Horizons, I'm calling about your daughter Ava,"

"Is everything okay?" I say, quickly ducking into the break room.

"I don't think you should be too alarmed," She responds, "but she's running a little bit of a fever and she's complaining about her head and her stomach,"

"What's her temp?" I ask.

"It's barely a fever, 100.1℉,"

"But it's still a fever," I say, "And she's complaining, she never complains,"

"I know," She responds, "That's what worried me,"

"Can I talk to her?" I ask.

"Of course," She responds. "Ava sweetie, your dad is on the phone," I hear her call.

"Daddy?" She whines on the other end of the line.

"Hey Birdie, I heard you're not feeling too hot,"

"My belly hurts," She tells me, the strain in her voice obvious. That's what worries me, my girl never complains. She was always fussy when she was a baby, but since then, she's been a dream child.

"I know baby, I'll going to come get you soon, just sit tight okay?"

"Okay,"

"Can you give the phone back to Ms. Evelyn?" I ask her.

"Okay," She responds. It's not long before I hear the woman softly clear her throat on the other end of the line.

"I'll be there in twenty minutes," I tell her.

"Would you like to pick up Liam as well?" She asks.

"No," I say, "I'll pick him up at the regular time,"

"Alright," She responds, "I'll have her ready for you."

"Thank you Evelyn,"

"We'll see you soon," She tells me before hanging up the phone. I groan and run my hands through my hair as she hangs up. It just had to be this week. Sick kids are always hard, but sick kids with a parent out of town? That's insane.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" I say as I stand in Hank's doorway.

"C'mon in, what's up Halstead?" He asks.

"I just got a call from Ava's school, she got a fever and she's complaining about her stomach, I told them I'd be down to pick up in twenty minutes,"

"That's fine," He responds. "Do you want me to pick up Lu and Liam later?"

"I was just going to call Emily, see if she can do it, but I'll keep that in mind, thanks," I say.

"Alright," He responds, "Give me an update later on how she's feeling. Did you call Lindsay yet?"

"No, I just got off the phone with the school, I was going to give her a call in the car on the way over,"

"Good plan, go ahead and clock out,"

"Thanks Sarge," I say, again grateful to have a boss like Hank. It may very possibly have everything to do with the fact that he considered my three his grandkids, but he's always been very flexible with us.

"Where you going Halstead?" Adam calls over at me as I grab my jacket off the back of my chair.

"Clocking out," I tell him, "Ave's preschool just called, she's got a fever,"

"She must have caught the bug that's going around," Kim comments, "Hannah had it last week, it's a bear," She says, referring to her and Adam's almost two year old daughter.

"Thanks for the warning," I say before grabbing my phone.

"Hope she feels better!" Kim calls after me as I descend down the stairs.

"Leaving us so soon?" Platt asks as I pass her desk.

"Sick kid," I respond without even glancing her way, used to the years of half hearted banter between the two of us.

I dial Erin's number as I walk down the front steps of the District, waiting impatiently for her to pick up the phone.

"Hey babe what's up?" She says, answering on the fourth ring.

"I just got a call from the school, Ava's sick," I tell her reluctantly. I know she's going to freak out. Luckily, our kids don't get sick too often, Lucy especially, but when they do, I swear it's almost harder on her than it is on them.

"Oh God what's wrong?" She asks.

"She said that she had a fever and she was complaining about a stomachache." I tell her as I hop into the front seat of the Pilot, quickly starting the car as I put the phone on speaker and toss it in the center console.

"Oh my poor girl," She responds somberly, "Maybe I should just come home,"

"No, no, no, don't that. I got it handled," I assure her. "You know that this case is important, you wouldn't be out there if it wasn't."

"I know," She says softly, "But she's my baby and she's sick and I'm not there. Kids want their moms when they're sick,"

"Are you doubting my cuddling and throw up clean up skills?" I joke.

"She threw up!" Erin exclaims.

"No, sorry that was a bad joke." I say, "But I got this okay?"

"If you need me, call me and I will be on the next plane out," She assures me. I can almost hear the guilt in her voice.

"We're not going to need you," I say, "I got it handled,"

"I know you do, I just worry," She says. I can almost see her drumming her fingers along whatever's in reach, her nervous tic of choice.

"Worry about the case, I'll have her call you when we get home okay?" I tell her.

"Alright," She says reluctantly, "Call me if anything changes,"

"I will, go kick some ass," I tell her with a smile.

"I love you Jay," She says, finishing up the call.

"I love you too baby," I say before allowing her to hang up the phone. I continue the fairly short drive to Ava's preschool, peaking through the window on Liam's classroom door, happy to see a big smile on his face before continuing on to Ava's classroom. I knock on the door, searching the room for my baby girl, but I can't seem to find her,

"Mr. Halstead," Evelyn says as she opens the door, the same smiling face I'm greeted with every morning standing in front of me.

"Thank you for calling, how is she?"

"She fell asleep about ten minutes ago and I figured it best to just let her sleep," She tells me as she leads me to the back corner of the classroom, the rest of the kids sitting on the carpet reading a story with the other teacher. "She's right over here,"

I look down at my girl, asleep on one of the cots, curled up in the blanket we leave at the school for naptime.

"Am I good to take her?"

"Yeah," She says. "I hope she feels better soon,"

"You and me both,"

* * *

"C'mon baby girl," I say as she sits in front of me, screaming in her high chair as I try to give her a dose of acetaminophen as instructed by Will. We've been home for maybe three hours and all she's done is scream. She woke up in the car ride home from school and I haven't been able to get her to stop since. She threw up on me a couple of times which was not fun and only strengthened my worry. I've tried everything that's worked every other time the kids have been sick, but nothing is helping. She just seems to be getting worse and worse.

"I hurt," She wails back at me.

"I know Birdie, I know," I say, running my hand over her head again. She's getting warmer I think. I grab the thermometer and place it in her arm, struggling to get an accurate reading as she squirms. I hear it beep and I look down at the screen. 103.6. That's way higher than I'm comfortable with. I grab the phone and dial one of the only numbers I know by heart, my brother. Luckily, he quickly picks up.

"Hey brother, how's she doing?" He asks.

"His temp is up, 103.6 and she threw up, she's complaining about her stomach. I gave her a dose of acetaminophen, but I don't think it's going to help,"

"You know what?" He says, "Just bring her in, her fever is really high and the vomiting worries me,"

"Alright I'll come right in," He says, "I'm out with Owen, but I'll try to get ahold of Nat,"

"Thanks Will," I say before quickly hanging up the phone.

"Okay Ave, we're going to go on a little adventure," I tell her as I pull her out of the high chair, wrapping her in a blanket, jamming my feet into a pair of shoes, and grabbing my keys and wallet off the counter, high tailing it out of there.

* * *

"Hi I'm trying to check my daughter into the ER," I say as I walk up to the front desk of Chicago Med, Ava wrapped in a blanket, sound asleep in my arms, her cheeks flushed a bright red.

"Go ahead and fill out this paperwork," She says, handing me a clipboard with a thick stack of papers attached. "You can go wait in the waiting area and we'll get to you as soon as we can,"

"What is the wait time?" I ask her.

"It can be anywhere from 30-60 minutes sir," She informs me, not looking up from her tablet in front of her as she sorts through patient files. She's new. We're in here more than I'd like and I don't recognize her face. Besides, if she'd been here for a while, she'd have already paged Natalie or Will.

"Is there anyway we can speed that up a little?" I ask politely, "This feels urgent,"

"All the cases we treat are urgent," She tells me, seeming more standoffish, "That's why they call it the emergency department,"

"I know, but my daughter, she's two years old, lethargic, she's got a fever of 103 and she won't stop shivering,"

"Sir I'm not going to tell you again, fill out the paperwork and sit in the waiting room, we will get to your daughter as soon as we can," She says. I can't do it with this woman.

"Jay?" I hear from across the ED. I look up to match my sister-in-law's face with the voice.

"Natalie!" I exclaim, quickly walking past the nurse.

"What's going on?" She asks, her eyes quickly flitting down to Ava. "What happened?"

"She's got a high fever, she threw up a couple times, and she's complaining about a stomache. My girl doesn't complain, you know that,"

"I know," She says, "What's her temp?"

"103.6,"

"How long?" She asks as she takes my child in my arms, her usual squeals of glee at her favorite and only aunt absent.

"I don't know, I picked her up four hours ago, but she's been this way since then. Her fever was 102.1 when I first took it at home, I brought her in after the last time I checked her,"

"Okay I'm going to admit her," She says, "Kate," She calls out.

"Dr. Manning I told him our protocol," She insists as she looks over at me.

"Kate this patient is my niece, please prep a room," Natalie tells her forcefully.

"Will do Doctor," She says, her head bowed as she scurries away from the alcove.

"Is Erin coming in?" She asks as she leads me to a room.

"No, she's working a case in San Francisco," I tell her, "I didn't want to call her unless I needed too, I knew that she was going to jump right onto a plane,"

"Call her,"

* * *

"Hey," Erin says as she slides open the door, Ava asleep in the hospital crib thing, an IV with antibiotics hooked up to her arm. After hours of sitting in the ED, we finally got a diagnosis. Our little Ava Piper, had a kidney infection. Luckily, it was an easy fix, just a course of IV antibiotics and two weeks of oral antibiotics after her release. Not that that's really an easy fix and it still means an overnight in the hospital,, but it's better than all the worst case scenarios I dreamt up while we were waiting for her test results. "I'm sorry it's so late, it was the earliest flight I could get,"

"It's okay, we're all okay now," I tell her as she curls up next to me on the very uncomfortable couch.

"Where are the rest of the kids?" She asks, laying her head down on my chest.

"Hank has them," I tell her, "I called Emily on the way over here and she took them for the afternoon and dropped them off at his place a few hours ago,"

"Good I'm glad they're okay," She says. "I'm sorry that I wasn't here,"

"No, don't do that to yourself," I tell her. I knew that she was going to blame herself. Not that there was anything she could have done, but she's still going to believe it's her fault. She wasn't here and something bad happened. "You could not have done anything to prevent this,"

"But I still wasn't here," She tells me, her voice quiet and small, "My daughter was sick and I wasn't here,"

"Yeah, you were off saving the world," I tell her as I place a kiss on the top of her head.

"Mama?" I hear from inside the crib, Ava sitting up.

"Hi sweet girl," She says as she scrambles off my lap. "Mama missed you,"

"I missed you Mama," She tells her as reaches her arms up towards her.

"I'm sorry you felt yucky when I was away," She says, carefully lifting her up as to not disturb her IV.

"But you're here now," I say, wrapping my arm around her waist.

"I'm here now,"


End file.
